I have to be alive

My hear is as black as night and as heavy as a bag of stones. This part of me that was once filled with passion as warm as the sun and as beautiful and vibrant as a sunrise is now cold and dark like winter. Still beautiful, but not as full as life.

I once danced to the beat of my own drum not caring who heard the song of my heart. Now i'm afraid that my song is out of tune and my dance off beat. Everything was once beautiful. The giggle of a child, the sound of the ocean, the wind splashing across my face and combing threw my hair. I loved the smiles on faces that were filled with the kind of joy that you can see in the rosiness of cheeks. That secret place where only a few can find and once its found it can't be hidden.

Now my world is gray. The color gone and nowhere to be found. A world where the sun does not glow and create rainbows in the sky. A place where there are no fireworks and kisses at midnight. But I can still faintly feel my hear beating, which lets me know that i'm still alive. Being alive gives me hope that one day i'll see the color again. More intensely i'll feel the sun rays on my skin. In awe every day of my life. Traveling to the ends of the earth to encounter beautiful things and beautiful people. I have hope that day will come.